Whaaaat are you doing there? STOP!
How many times per day a parent (guess what … usually mom) is saying that? Many times, too many times we are saying this to our kids.
We are trying to keep the house clean and in order, at least in an decent order.
We should stop the STOP
We have kids. Life changes after this magic moment. The house is changing for many years. Trying to keep order is a hopeless wish.
Kids need space to explore. Curiosity and native thinking leads to exploring which creates in turn brain development and skills that tomorrow will provide us with the new engineers, painters, mathematicians, architects, and so on.
Kids are curious and they should be, this is how kids are. I know, from maternity they do not come out with a manual. Let’s have a look around and we will get the point.
Parents pretending to STOP
Do you see parents shouting at the kids to STOP but still letting them to do whatever the kids want? Yeah, me too.
I was always asking myself why a parent would cancel his/her own authority by trying to stop something that finally definitely happens.
As a parent we should determine if what the kid is doing is dangerous for him or people around, if is damaging other property, if is out of normal society behavior and after that to decide if the kid needs to STOP or not. Asking our kid to stop just for our own serenity is senseless and the kid feels it and for sure will not stop.
We cannot let our kid in a wedding party to get dirty jumping in muddy puddle, but we should never stop him/her doing this in the park.
If we are having good reasons for STOP, even the kid will cooperate and understand our authority when needed.
You see any problem? STOP
There is nothing wrong with my kid. If the kid is running around, making noise, getting dirty, exploring things, being energetic and so on there is no problem, really, this is what kids do. You were just the same, if not, sorry.
Let’s not confuse education with restriction. Also let’s not confuse spoiling with love.
Let’s try to have educated kids that know and apply the social rules. We need to be sure that the environment and circumstances are appropriate for a kid.
For example don’t take the kid to a restaurant if the kid is tired and not used / not able yet to spend time by doing activities helping you to enjoy your meal (coloring, drawing, playing) .
STOP doing that in the house!
The house is the big part of a kid universe. Secured by parents love the kid can try to start exploring talents like:
• drawing on whatever with whatever, especially on the windows and walls;
• pretending to play drums using the kitchen pots;
• making experiments with food, pouring water on whatever, blending flour with different things; broking eggs many many eggs;
• building castles and caves by moving chairs and pillows and blankets;
And these are the easy ones.
After 4 years old the house becomes a science laboratory increasing by years. Trying to have an organized house is a lost battle from the start.
So, dear parents, simply STOP. Imagine your kid, trying to protect the treasure of the experiments shouting at you WHAAAAT are you doing there? STOP!!!
The skills our kids are developing are helping them later in the school to understand the information presented to them, most of the time dry and with poor relation with reality. It would be great to explain to the kid the theory relating to an experiment he/she made. Thinking like this who should say STOP?
Don’t STOP the creativity of the kid.
Creativity is one of the base skills the kid will need in the future next to complex problem solving, intuition, courage and emotional intelligence.
Simply get used with the idea that:
• Kids are not destroying, are exploring. Help your kid in the area of interest. He/she would like to open the radio to see inside? Find an old one and let the kid to explore. Find materials, books, videos on the idea of interest and help him with information to develop the brain.
• Kids are naturally born geniuses. Is up to us to let them explore the universe around them. A kid that daily is moving the furniture to build things may become an engineer, a kid that is digging in the garden or in all the wardrobes like is searching for something may become a psychology or surgeon , a kid that is organizing the things can become an accountant or warehouse manager and so on.
• Kids need healthy boundaries and education for a proper development. You are the adult in the room. By setting healthy boundaries the kid has a well-controlled freedom. Your role is to supervise and to guide the kid in the process of growing. His brain is not formed for complex decisions and cannot really understand long term consequences. They are living in the present moment, whatever will/can happen later means…. much muuuch later. Also kids cannot understand hypothetical situations, always connect something to their reality for understanding.
• Kids must be kids. Now is the moment to be noisy, to get dirty, to laugh loud, to be limitless happy, to make mess around them, to get the house upside down, to get stuck on you like the stamp on the envelope, to ask you near them for whatever they do.
Stop your STOP !
If your parents were stopping us from doing whatever, we have the same tendency. Still, our kids are living a different time, more exposure, and more opportunities.
Any time our kids are doing something that makes us say STOP, let’s consider the following:
• Is the kid or any other around in danger with what the kid is doing? If yes, stop is a must! If not, let the kid explore.
• The consequences of the action are important? I will not allow the kid to draw all the walls he can find but I can decide over one wall in the kid room to be painted if the try to explain that we are drawing on the paper only, failed. The wall will be fixed after 6-7 years, get used with it.
• Can I afford the “experiment” of the kid? If the kid is broking two eggs to prepare his own omelet is not the end of the universe. Some cleaning products will fix the trace of the experiment in no time.
• Don’t confuse experiment with destroying. The experiment of the kid is normal and makes any sense? (at least for the kid) Or the kid is actually trying to get my attention by voluntary destroying things. Kids try to get parents attention by doing things they know very well are not allowed / not acceptable.
• Do I really have a reason to STOP the kid activity? Playing drum in the night and early in the morning is not a good idea at all but is a perfect one during the day when there is nobody to be bothered by the noise.
Make all the analysis and try to STOP only what must be stopped. Otherwise, let your kid to develop his brain and creativity, this will help the kid to become an adult full of resources, and prosperous.